Holidays can be stressful. Add teens to the equation and the holidays can become a real challenge. But then again, with the right mindset and a few adjustments, you can do more than survive the holidays with your teens, you may even truly enjoy them.

Realistic Expectations

Your teens are growing up. They are becoming young adults and searching for independence and respect. They also have their own minds and may no longer care about going to the Nutcracker or decorating cookies and that’s okay. They may even have ideas of what they would prefer to do during the holidays, so try asking them.

Talk To Your Teens

Before you’re into the heart of the holiday season:

1. Talk with your teens.
2. Let them know what is important to you during the Holidays.
3. Make sure you have put thought into what is truly important, and then keep it simple.

Certain traditions. Spending a specific meal together. And then ask what is important to your teen. If you take the time to listen, you might be surprised. Maybe they just want a few hours to visit friends. Even if they don’t open up much, at least they will know in advance what to expect during the holiday season.

Discuss Screen Time Before The Holidays

Teens are going to want to be on their phones and playing video games. If you have family over during the holidays or plan on visiting family, talk to your teens about screen time. Older family members will especially appreciate one-on-one time without interruption. Work together with your teen to decide what’s okay as far as screen time. Don’t be rigid, look for a good compromise. Maybe no phone use for the first hour. Maybe phone checks and texts intermittently as long as it’s not constant. Or maybe no phone at all, but they can play video games all night when they get home. Have the conversation ahead of the holidays and see what solutions you can come up with together.

Be Flexible

As adults, we can get set in our ways. Take a look at things that you can be flexible on during the holiday season. Maybe this year you don’t spend New Year’s Eve together as a family, but you do brunch on New Year’s day. Maybe your teen misses one lighting of the Menorah and goes ice-skating with friends instead. Maybe your teen skips picking out a Christmas tree and spends the day with his girlfriend’s family. Find ways to give your teen a little more independence.

Enjoy Activities Together

If there are activities that your teen enjoys, try doing them together. Get outside if possible. Go play catch or Spikeball. Hit the ski slopes. Maybe play a board game or card game. Watch a movie together. Don’t expect your teen to spend all day as a family, but look for bits of time when you can enjoy one another.

Try Something New

Have you ever tried doing something different during the holidays? Ask your teen if they have ideas on celebrating, and you may even find a new tradition. Or, if you’re really feeling crazy, take your family away on vacation for the holidays. Ask your teen where they would like to travel and then try a new holiday adventure.

Help Others

Volunteer at a soup kitchen or buy gifts for families in need. So much of a teen’s life is focused on themselves. Help your teen to realize that there are other people in this world. Nothing boosts the holiday spirit more than giving a helping hand.

Enjoy the holidays with your teens. The season may look a little different than it has in the past, and your teen may want to spend time away from you. But that’s okay, different can still be a lot of fun.