Dealing with a coach that you don’t see eye to eye with can be a real challenge. When I was a young player, I didn’t like all of my coaches. And when I was coaching, I’m sure that not every one of my players liked me.

But if you love to play your sport, as long as you are in a safe environment, there are ways to make it through your season, learn more about the game, and have fun while doing it.

What To Do If You Don’t Feel Safe

There is a difference between a coach that isn’t great and a coach that puts you at risk, physically or emotionally. Suppose a coach touches you inappropriately, degrades you, insults you, or pressures you to play on an injury. In that case, it’s imperative that you set your boundaries and then talk to a trusted adult.

If you’re safe, but you don’t like your coach. The question that comes next is, what is it that you don’t like about your coach?

Not Getting Enough Playing Time

Do you feel like you should be getting more playing time? You aren’t the only one. Most athletes believe they deserve more playing time, but there are only so many minutes in a game. So think about how many minutes are truly available versus your expectations.

If you are at the higher level of play, high school or college, where the game is more competitive, the better athletes, and those who have a good work ethic and good attitudes, usually get more playing time. But, at the youth level, I believe playing time should be relatively equal.

So, there may be times that you get little or no playing time, but a good coach will communicate that to their players and explain that all athletes are essential to the team. Still, as an athlete, not playing sucks.

So What Can You Do?

First, talk to your coach. This is not easy but have a conversation with them and ask what you might do to get more playing time. Understand that it might not help. There simply might not be the minutes available, depending on the team. But you if let your coach know how you are feeling and then back it up with hard work, never know what will happen.

Put In The Work

After you’ve talked to your coach, it’s time to get to work and show them that you are serious. Get to practice early or stay late and do a little extra. Stay focused and go hard in practice. Have a positive attitude and see if there is a change.

No guarantees. The payoff might be that you get better as a player and help your team to improve, but If you’re lucky, your coach will notice and you will earn some more playing time.

What if it’s not about the playing time, there are things that you just don’t like about your coach.

My Coach Yells At Me

It is tough to have a coach screaming and hollering all the time. And if this is the reason that you don’t like your coach I might suggest that you first listen to see if what they are yelling is instructional or hurtful. Some coaches raise their voices so that they can be heard and it comes across a little rough.

What is the message that they are trying to convey? Are they explaining what to do, where to hustle? Or are they putting you or other players down while hollering? If they are being constructive and working to make you and the team better and just have a super loud voice, then maybe it’s okay. You can simply learn to ignore the volume but listen to the message. Or you might meet with them and explain that when their voice is really loud it makes you uncomfortable. If the yelling is hurtful to you or your teammates, you may need to again talk to a trusted adult.

My Coach Doesn’t Coach

Maybe you’ve been playing soccer on select teams for years and you have a parent coaching your recreational team who has never played, so they drive you crazy. You find yourself goofing around and rolling your eyes when they are trying to coach.

This is another time when it could be helpful to talk to your coach. Let them know that you are glad to have them as a coach and that you would love to help in any way possible since you have a lot of experience with the game. The coach may be grateful to have you work as a player assistant coach. It will make it more fun for you as you help your teammates get better and your team gets stronger.

My Coach Is Weird

Maybe you and your coach just have different personalities. You know what? That is okay. Throughout your lifetime you will work and socialize with all sorts of people and this is just an opportunity to practice getting along.

Sometimes it takes just a few simple steps to deal with a coach that you don’t like. Do your best to ignore any little things that bug you, that have nothing to do with helping you in your sport, and then do the following:

• Have a positive attitude- Most of the time a coach is trying to do their best so it helps if you can see it from their perspective and stay positive.
• Work hard – A coach loves a player who has a great work ethic. You might be surprised what a little extra work will do.
• Communicate – Do your best to keep open communication with your coach. Talk to them about what is important to you and you may find that your coach is not as bad as you think.

Remember, most coaches are trying to do the best they can. If, however, they put you in an unsafe environment, make sure to talk to a trusted adult and get out of the situation. Otherwise, work hard, communicate and keep a positive attitude. Do your part to get along with your coach and make your season the best it can be.